Essence

Her name was Essence. She was a perky 12-year-old with disheveled brown hair and thicker than usual glasses that made her eyes a little larger than average. But let me tell you, Essence was anything but average. She still had her pajama bottoms on when she walked up to where Natalie and I were already seated on the plane.

 “My name’s Essence, what’s yours?” she asked, extending her hand to Natalie. Natalie shook her hand, responding with her own name and some southern pleasantries. “Are you from Denver?” Essence asked. “No, just visiting family and I had to have surgery,” replied Natalie. “What kind?” “The stomach kind. Welcome to being female,” Natalie said, with a chuckle. “Can I see?” Essence pressed. Natalie paused, then decided to play along and raise her shirt just enough for Essence to ooh and aw over her sutures. “Does it hurt?” “Yes, I’m on pain medication.” “Your nails are really long. I bet they could hurt someone,” Essence said. “They can if I need them to, but most of the time they don’t,” said the straight-shooting Natalie.

 Natalie was nice but she wasn’t one to put honey on her words either, which was great because Essence desperately needed some straight truth spoken to her. Me? I’m just sitting in the window seat of the plane, listening to this conversation—appreciating Natalie’s kindness to the younger Essence and in absolute awe of Essence’s stamina to ask so many questions in so little time. And she was showing no signs of slowing down—none.  She was like a nonstop geyser of new questions and I could tell, this reality was beginning to set in for (the recently operated on) Natalie.

 If you’re new to the inkForge, this space is all about writing how God is shaping me, and honesty is a big part of that process. So here comes some (not too glamorous) transparency. I hope you won’t think less of me for admitting it. You see, I was secretly happy that it was Natalie fielding that barrage of questions from Essence and not me. I’m not proud of that, but it’s at least the truth. You know, worship pastors can reach a threshold too, and I guess I had reached mine—or at least, that’s what I thought at the time. I was spent from an entire weekend of pouring out, and all I wanted to do was finish a lesson for tomorrow morning at church that I was preparing to teach the praise team, and then close my eyes for the rest of the flight. That’s it—just sleep and not think. It’s not an excuse as much as it is a confession. I was wrong and I know that, then and now.

Sometimes, I think tired and poured out is the threshold God brings us to for an uncommon moment of obedience.

You see, God knew how tired I was and now, on the other side of it, there’s no doubt in my mind that He chose the seating assignments for my flight home. It wasn’t long before the conversation took an unexpected turn. Essence had begun sharing with Natalie who she was and where she was from. She had a flip phone and explained that her other phone had been taken away because she’d been really bad. She also revealed that she had been letting her boyfriend come in the window of her bedroom, and matter-of-factly explained to Natalie about what she would do if she became pregnant—she had a “plan.” Natalie’s response was a bit more colorful than I can relay on the inkForge but let me tell you, my dad-heart was about to come out of that chair and I was thankful that Natalie, in her own way, was trying to warn the 12 year old Essence of what a terrible idea it was to get pregnant at her age. That didn’t stop Essence though. With a smile, she rattled off her best laid plans for pregnancy and without the slightest hesitation, moved on to talking about other things completely inappropriate for me to write about in this journal entry. Let me assure you, each thing she mentioned was equally as shocking as the last. Eventually, Essence revealed that her mother had OD’d on heroin and had passed away. At this point, something rose up inside of me. I couldn’t stay silent any longer. I leaned forward in my chair and locked eyes with Essence and said, “I’m sorry.” That’s all that would come out. I wanted to reach over Natalie and give her a big-dad-hug but I couldn’t. Essence didn’t know my heart was heavy for her or that I’d been praying for a good while over her and Natalie. But again, she didn’t miss a beat. She simply nodded at me, and asked, “What’s your name…?”

 The flight was over 2 hours and when Essence wasn’t making designs with her skittles on the tray table, she was talking about something…usually shocking. I could tell Natalie was reaching a threshold of her own. The poor girl was on meds and in pain, trying her best to not be rude and answer Essence’s questions. Natalie had tried numerous times to back out of the conversation, but to no avail. Essence was relentless. Natalie even used the tried and true social-blocker of putting her earbuds in her ears, but nothing stopped Essence. As the flight dragged on, I could tell Natalie was in pain. So, I leaned up and said to Essence, “Hey, I think Natalie needs to close her eyes, but I can talk as much as you like.” Undaunted, Essence started afresh on me. She talked for most of the two hours but eventually became distracted with making designs on her tray table with her skittles again.

 That’s when it hit me. I hadn’t told this little girl about Jesus! All this talk and listening and she didn’t know the hope within me. So I started praying again. The irony was thick. I was finally free! I’d been nice and said some encouraging things to Essence and relieved Natalie. But heaven help me, I just wanted to close my eyes and drift off to sleep. And even more frustrating, I couldn’t finish the lesson that I was trying to prepare for the praise team for Sunday morning. Every time I tried, my heart would hurt for Essence and my mind wouldn’t stop thinking of the shocking life this girl of only 12 years had lived. So, I found myself praying, of all things, to get a conversation going again with a girl who wouldn’t stop talking. I asked God what to do and a single word came to my mind: “sit.” This didn’t feel very groundbreaking, so I proceeded to ask God again. Surely, I’d misheard Him.  “God, what do you want me to say to Essence?” Again, a single word came to mind but this time more emphatically: “SIT.” What do you do when you’re seeking answers and God tells you to sit? I remember setting my phone on the tray table in front of me (which had the unfinished lesson on it), folding my arms and…sitting. What a powerful thing it is to wait on God to move in a helpless moment of surrender. A minute passed, maybe two, and Essence poked her head forward and shot another question my way from her endless supply. She revealed that she liked music, played the guitar and wrote songs.  I jumped on that! “Get out! I’m a musician, too,” I said. “I’m a bass player.” She lit up. “Where do you think music comes from?” I asked. “The heart.” Essence said. Her answer was immediate. Almost all of her answers and questions were. “Yeah, the deep places,” I said.

Then she revealed that her mom used to sing in the choir at church before she passed away. “No way!” I’m a worship pastor!” I said, stunned at God’s efficiency in the waiting. “I’m a Christian,” Essence nodded confidently. “Really?” “Yep,” she said confidently, with a nod. “Essence, can you define that a little more for me? You have a lot of opinions and they’re great but can you just explain that a little better for me?” You’re going to think I’m exaggerating her response but I promise this is verbatim what she said to me: “Yes! I love opinions. They’re like roller coasters; everyone has one and they’re fun.” This girl’s creativity and her response time was staggering. I’m not sure what her IQ was but I’m telling you right now, God made that little girl absolutely brilliant. I was just trying to keep up and asking God to please give me the words for Essence. 

Then she blurted, “Well, I’m a Baptist,” then wrinkled her nose at me and asked… “Can you be saved and not be baptized?” “Yes,” I answered. Baptism is like this outward showing of an inward change. We are saved through God’s Son, Jesus, who came and died to take our sins away because He loves us. We receive Him as Savior and Lord of our life,” I said, still a bit in shock of how God had taken this conversation over in so short a time. “Can I tell you something, Essence?” I asked. “Yes,” she nodded. “I think you tell people shocking things to get a response out of them,” I said as nicely as I could. Y’all, the Spirit was thick on that plane. Essence paused for the first time in the flight. She looked down at her hands and then back at me and said, “Yeah…I do that.” “You don’t have to…you don’t have to do that anymore, sweetheart.” The response came out of my mouth before I even knew it. I think the dad part of me was pulling so hard for her I could barely stand it and I knew my Heavenly Father was chasing after her even harder. “I like this Essence right here,” I said. “You don’t have to say shocking things for people to like you or pay attention to you. You’re so smart and beautiful and you have so much to offer. I like this Essence right here,” I said, holding back some tears and smiled. What she said next to me, I think I’ll keep between her and I. But it was one of the highest compliments of my lifetime.

Then, without batting an eye she blurted out her next question, loud enough for half the plane to hear. “LGBTQ, what about them?” she said quite boldly, and like we’d been talking about that topic the whole flight. “Well…I don’t agree with that lifestyle, Essence, but it has nothing to do with hate or meanness or any of the other things you might have heard that Christians say about folks in those lifestyles. I don’t have to agree with them to love them. Remember, opinions,” I said, with a half grin-half shrug. Essence nodded but pressed in and said, “Yeah, but what do you say to them?” “That is a really long answer, Essence, but you’re a really smart girl, so if you’re willing to listen…I’ll tell you. An old pastor taught me that marriage has a specific cause. That’s very important.” She nodded curiously, so we started in Ephesians 5 and went all the way back to Genesis 1.

 “Essence, do you know who Paul is in the Bible?” 

“I think so,” she said. 

“Paul was a follower of Jesus and he wrote the lion’s share of the New Testament. Paul wrote that marriage has a cause and it probably isn’t what you’re thinking and that’s okay. I want you to remember that, though. Marriage has a cause…” “Okay” she said. “You see, I love my country but we’ve all been sort of conditioned here in the West to think that marriage is sort of the same thing as the American dream, but it’s not. We equate good marriages with things like successful jobs, big houses, passionate romances and lots of money and other things like that.” Essence nodded again, like—go on. “Those are great things,” I said, “and often byproducts of a healthy marriage, but they are not the actual cause of marriage. Paul said it like this:

 “For this ’cause’ shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32” –KJV

 Essence, what Paul is saying is that marriage has a very specific, holy cause. God made man to be joined to his wife but then Paul says the wildest thing. Paul explains it’s actually not about the man and woman at all, but something more—something greater. Marriage is about Christ and His bride—which is the church! You see, waaaay back in the beginning when God made Adam and Eve and this beautiful thing called marriage, He was already thinking of His Son, Jesus. Does that make sense?” I asked. “Yes,” Essence said.

 “And that is only 1 of the reasons why I don’t agree with those lifestyles. Marriage has nothing to do with fulfilling your dreams or making sure you’re happy about your preferred sexual stance in a relationship. According to God’s Word, it’s about the marriage of all marriages. It’s about God’s Son and His bride the Church. You see, our marriages are meant to be living breathing examples of the love of all loves—the marriage of all marriages. And it has absolutely nothing to do with Christians hating on anyone, but Christians believing that God has more for them than that. I have friends in some of those lifestyles. We simply disagree with each other, not hate each other.” “So…you’re saying the church is Jesus’ bride?” Essence asked. “You got it,” I said with the biggest smile of relief.” She really did get it, y’all!

A 12 year old understood that it’s God’s plan and God’s cause, not our desires that defines marriage.

 In true Essence fashion, the moment didn’t linger long, though. Strictly speaking, I doubt Essence does anything for very long. Essence looked at Natalie and said, “Are you religious?” Natalie leaned up from her “nap”, surprise flushing her face. “I uh…wouldn’t call myself…”

“Are you a Christian?” Essence interrupted.

“I wouldn’t call myself…Christian,” Natalie got out awkwardly. “See, Natalie’s not a believer, but I am, I said. Different opinions but we’re all getting along just fine, right?” I said. Essence smiled back at me. “Essence, will you do one more thing for me?” I asked. “Sure,” she said eagerly. “Jesus… there’s tons of opinions about Him. There’s also a historical account of Him really coming to earth to take our sins away. Would you find out about Him? In the next few years as you get older, find out all you can about Jesus. Can you do that for me?” “Sure,” she said.

 Finally, the flight was over and we all parted ways. 

I still pray for Essence and Natalie to this day and, if you are reading this, would love, very much, for you to join me in that endeavor.

 So, why tell you the story of Essence and Natalie? Prayer? Yes, but I also shared because God is calling us to come away with Him, and I almost missed my chance because I was doing something good (preparing a lesson). I was getting frustrated with not being able to finish my routine lesson-church-prep when God had a greater assignment for me. I told my wife, April, this story when I got home and she said, “Babe…God put you ‘in’ the lesson!” She was right, as usual.

 My time on the Forge is almost up today, but before I stop writing, I want us to look at a short list of folks who were called by God to come away with Him:

God called Peter, Andrew, James and John away from fishing, which was their livelihood.
God called Mathew away from tax collecting.
God called David to be a king while tending sheep.
God called Noah to build a boat without a historical flood.
God called Abraham to father a nation as an elderly man.
And God called Lazarus right out of a grave.

 So here’s the thing, not a single person on that list set out to be on that list. They were just doing the norm, right? They were living much like we do, safe and by habit. They were comfortably steeped in the common rhythms of life and suddenly, God called them away from what was common to come away with Him to do something uncommon—and they went! 

Dear friend, did you know that God has made you to be more than common? You might not have to drop your fishing nets and walk away from your lively-hood or build a freakishly large boat to save humanity, but make no mistake, God is calling you to come away with Him. Don’t let fear stop you.

Self-preservation is a poor hook on which to hang our courage.

You see, fear can self-preserve us right out of a miracle. And it will even make use of our own blessings to do it.

 Look, I can’t say what the next uncommon moment in the Spirit will look like for you. For me, it was a seating arrangement on a plane and the call to “sit” and submit to an obedience that was very much a call to come away with Him—away from self preservation and into the unsettling fray of a faith that actually has the opportunity to overcome my fears. He’s calling us to where miracles actually happen. And don’t for a second think the irony of that little girl’s name is lost on me.

The enemy of the soul isn’t afraid of our good church routines. He’ll gladly keep us busy with good things, all day long…so long as we miss the essence.